So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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