Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.