I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she pinky promised me she was 18
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.