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Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
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