its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.