Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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