so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
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There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
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Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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