his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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