yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
