Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
