Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize