I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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