Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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