i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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