no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
