Screwed.edu
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
