I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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