people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
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