The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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