My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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