did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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