ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
