it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
