Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
