In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
