I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
