btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
