I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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