ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
