Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
