lets start a swedish sibling band together
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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