found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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