You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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