She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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