That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
