What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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