you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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