OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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