She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize