Where is the hickey?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
do nipples grow back?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
