Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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