So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
