I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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