if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
