Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
