Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
