Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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