btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Be still, my beating vagina.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
