even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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