You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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