It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
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like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
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I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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