i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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