Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize