I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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