no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
