Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
