wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
