how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
