why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
