i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
