Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
