its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
