She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's never too late to be topless.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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