Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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