Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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