i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
