You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize