thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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