we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
