i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The power of my boobs compel you
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
