I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
only if we run a train.
done.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
