I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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