I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
