I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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