Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
